i just realize i like to blog/journal/post whenever i am in a seriously dark place. i guess this is one of those times that i am in a horrible time in my life. you would think that graduation is one the most exciting times in your life. let me tell you, it is not.

within a week of graduation, i am unemployed, heartbroken, miserable, and just a complete mess.

lets start with unemployment, this job market is a tough one. no one wants anyone without experience, well guess what i don't have that much experience as a college graduate. so i can not go anywhere up. i feel exactly the same as the way i felt when i graduated high school with the exception of the fact that i was excited for the future. i can get the exact same jobs as i did before. so now, four years later, 30,000 dollars in debt, and uncertain of my life i am worse off than when i graduated from high school. why did i go to college? oh yeah to get heartbroken.

baby, you were supposed to be the one that stayed with me. we were happy, we are fine the way we are. you just ran into a few bumps in the road and you just couldn't handle it. im sorry you choose to let me go, i was the one that wanted to support you through all of the hardships that you are about to encounter. your going to need someone and i hope you do find that person that will be there. i love you and i hate you at the same time but you know what thats what a break up is.

so with those last two paragraph it should be obvious why i am not sleeping, but swimming in the early mornings. i have to admit this is one of the darkest places i have ever been in my life. NO THANKS TO YOU LIFE! life is a cruel cruel world!!!!!!!