loooove

i love my friends and family. i value them so much. the ones that know me so well and would do anything for me as i would for them. they are the first people i go to when i have a problem or when i need their opinions. there are so many times when i go to them and ask them what they think of my situation, because i know i am blinded by my emotions in the situation. i mean in the end i know i make the ultimate decision but sometimes my friends and family can see the truth that i can't. right now there is so much hate about a decision i have to make and my friends are trying to pull me away from something i want. but i'm scared of the what ifs. my friends want the best for me right? but what if what they think is the best for me isn't what i think is the best for me. or am i being blinded again.

i think i deserve to be happy. i deserve to have someone that will stand up for me. that will let me be me. that won't cuss me out and call me names. that trusts me. that believes in me. that pushes me to do my best. that will protect me as much as they can from pain but not control my life. i deserve to have stability. drama free. i think i deserve that and in return i would treat them the way i want to be treated. how do i know if i should take the risk. i don't know. only time will tell. but for now i enjoy where i am in life and who is in my life. im excited for the rest of my summer. hong kong was just the beginning there is so much more to come. im excited for my west trip, family trips, road trips, camping trip, and moving down to LA. THis summer is going to be an epic one i already grew so much i learned so much in the last month while i was in hk. there are going to be a lot more obstacles to come but im ready to face them.