a little busy bee.

I am a person with many commitment. I work. I go to school. I volunteer at cameron house. I am the first to volunteer to do things. I usually say yes when asked of a favor even if i know i don't have the time to do it. I remember there was a point in my life when i was at school from 8am to 2pm sometimes even 5pm. and with my school commitments, working three jobs and volunteering. And of course the miscellaneous things like babysitting, driving my brother around, and hanging out with friends. I have always kept a busy schedule. I stick to my commitments even if i don't like them. I like doing things but as a result i neglect myself and my happiness. I keep these commitments because i know these commitments would never hurt me, they wouldn't abandon me. For some reason i like making other's happy but i feel as if i don't deserve that. I don't open up to others I just hide behind my commitments. And i push things away from me that could make me happy. it scares me too much so i just take on another commitment to not think about the pain that i feel. I tire myself out so when i go to sleep i won't think, ill just fall asleep. I keep busy, and i like it, but sometimes i need to have time for myself. and to be me.