you are what i wanted.

im so sprung off of you.
but im dumb.
im gonna just gonna scare you off
damn why does this have to happen when im about to leave
i wanted to try it
but then again those 5 letters make it hard
trust
i wish i had it.
i wish i have you.
my heart is going to explode.
and i hate myself for letting go.

shit happens

You know through out your life you are going to have some reallly good times but with that you will have some really bad times. Life's a trip. There is always going to be drama. people won't always get along. you won't always get what you want. but that is part of life. There will always be someone that doesn't like you, that thinks you are annoying, or stupid or something dumb, but don't let it get to you because if you always cared what other people thought of you then you will jsut stuck being upset all the time. And that's not the way to live life. All you need is a few close friends who will be with you through it all. The good and the bad. So yea, i know people that hate me, I know that people take shit about me. But you know what? it doesn't bug me. I don't waste my time being upset at them. yeah. shit happens.

work hard. play harder.

this past two weeks have been hectic. i love it. i have been having so much fun. enjoying what i am doing. but still working. i still hve stuff to do for work and camp and getting ready for irvine. but definitly enjoying it as welll. i definitely love alll of my friends that have been hanging out with me, drama free. love you guys. i know ill always have your support. always there for me. your actions prove it. looooovvveeeeeee

blinded by emotions

I really hope that my emotions don't blind me. I am not going to lie, I am scared. I'm scared for my life. But if i never take this risk, I will never know. The hardest part is the fact that I value my close friends and family's opinions a lot, and I basically have no support in this decision. How is it that for something that I want so badly, is so looked down upon by the ones closest to me. Am i really being blinded by my emotions?

loooove

i love my friends and family. i value them so much. the ones that know me so well and would do anything for me as i would for them. they are the first people i go to when i have a problem or when i need their opinions. there are so many times when i go to them and ask them what they think of my situation, because i know i am blinded by my emotions in the situation. i mean in the end i know i make the ultimate decision but sometimes my friends and family can see the truth that i can't. right now there is so much hate about a decision i have to make and my friends are trying to pull me away from something i want. but i'm scared of the what ifs. my friends want the best for me right? but what if what they think is the best for me isn't what i think is the best for me. or am i being blinded again.

i think i deserve to be happy. i deserve to have someone that will stand up for me. that will let me be me. that won't cuss me out and call me names. that trusts me. that believes in me. that pushes me to do my best. that will protect me as much as they can from pain but not control my life. i deserve to have stability. drama free. i think i deserve that and in return i would treat them the way i want to be treated. how do i know if i should take the risk. i don't know. only time will tell. but for now i enjoy where i am in life and who is in my life. im excited for the rest of my summer. hong kong was just the beginning there is so much more to come. im excited for my west trip, family trips, road trips, camping trip, and moving down to LA. THis summer is going to be an epic one i already grew so much i learned so much in the last month while i was in hk. there are going to be a lot more obstacles to come but im ready to face them.

what a smalll world

wow. so im at the airport right now, waiting to board to come home. soo weird as i am saying by to my aunt uncle and cousin, i turn around and i see an aunt and uncle from SF going through security as well. and im just like standing there in shock and my aunt looks up and is just like what the hell. haha soo it turns out they when to shanghai and is going back to sf tonight too. sooooo weird. omggg soo random. but dude they are soo nice. i love my family. looooovvvveeeeee

besides that.. im commmingg homee! :)

live in the moment.

live in the present. not the past. and don't wait for the future. the future will come eventually and it will be called teh present so live in the present. don't keep everything bottled up, because in the end you are just going to explode and it will be a lot more painful. enjoy the people in your life and what you have at the moment. that doesn't mean trust easily, but let yourself trust some people. don't waste your time hating because hate comes from love. no regrets. love life. appreciate your parents, they gave you life.