some people need to grow the fuck up. THE END!

mann this got me wondering why i even came home. why did i make such an effort to come home when you dont even care. why am i even home. i could be back at school, instead of wasting 7 hours of my life driving home to just chill in my room. something i could have done in irvine. i am no longer excited about this. i dont even want to go anymore. if anything i just wanna stay home and sleep till monday when i go back to irvine. this shows how much people you thought were your friends really dont give a shit about you. so fuck this shit.

you are so dumb

I know you are trying to act super cool and all and hiding it from everyone but im the last person you are fooling. go head delete me from you life. i really don't care. you are the one that screwed it up. the only thing you know how to do is talk. and thats the only reason why i fell for you then. but im so gladd now im actually dating someone that is woth my time that actually cares about me and doesn't care what other people think. so go head try to say those little things about me but its not going to bother me anymore. ive been over you for so long what you are saying about me doesn't affect me at right now. so why am i ranting about you? because i feel sorry for you. sorry for who you have become, sorry for the way your life is. you are telling me to take care... well better yet, you should take care of yourself first.

college

i think im freaking out a little bit... i dont know how to do this whole college thing. i haven't been doing too well in school. and im really scared. i want to graduate on time and do well at the same time. but its just so hard. i dont know what to do. im soo scared to fail. i hate being disappointed in myself. so when i study really hard and i do poorly im just so upset and i hate that i rather do poorly and not do well at least i wont think its cuz im dumb. if that made sense. i dont know. it just sortaa sucks! :(

him.

so i guess last night was like our first fight.
it was pretty much my fault.
im just not ready.
im stubborn.
i have too much pride to admit that im wrong.
im to scared.
i know you want to tell the world. but im just not ready for that yet.
my past is still haunting me
i know you told me to drop the whole arguement cuz you are over it, but inside im still upset by it.
im just mad at myself for being to scared.

death...

i hate that you are going through this. i want to be ehre for you. but i dont know how too :( death is really hard. i had a hard time with it and i know you are too. just know that im always a phone call a text away from you and seriously ill be by yourside if you need me to be. im sorry you are going through this and im sorry i never know what the right words to say are. but time heals all wounds. and know that there are so many people other there that you can fall back on. and i am definitly one of them. many people are in hte same position as you and i know they are all grieving as well. i know you can do this. you are strong. but really cry if you have to. you dont have to tell anyone. let yourself feel the emotions. know that i am and always will be here for you.

relationship

man im scared to be in a relationship. i feel like im too wishy washy to be in one. i know i like him. but then im scared because he might actually stick around. unlike my last few who werent the type to stay or ready to stay. but here i am about to move forward with someone that might actually stick around. yeah i have doubts but it just feels so comfortable to be around him. he doesn't make me feel dumb or look down on me. he doesn't try and make me feel awkward. he just makes me happy. i doubt too much but i guess sometimes i just gotta take a risk.